High School Football: The Gridiron Grump offers a penny for your thoughts
Off The Record – Will Clatskanie, Toledo or Wahkiakum ever lose? Sources say they'll call back soon.
Gridiron Grump special to Blast Zone Media / blastzonenews@gmail.com
Prep Football / Grumblings
DOWN BY THE RIVER — Has there ever been a worse year to be a one-loss team in this oversaturated slice of heaven on earth? Short answer — No.
You guys, it’s Week 11 and we’ve got more undefeated teams in The Blast Zone than functioning branches of federal government. Now, this isn’t a political discussion, but there are a few victory laps to be taken.
First of all, if I were a hat guy I’d be sure to take mine off and tip it to the Kelso Hilanders after the nerve and guts and sinew they put on display last week. Overtime victories are cool. Overtime victories at home over a bunch kids who screamed in your face before the kick off? Even better.
The night had everything you could want on your bingo card. Pick six. Field goal. Goal line stand. Falling down referee. Fog on the field. Big moon in the sky. And a fully torqued group of fans in the Coweeman VIP section outside the fence who were talking trash like the 1980’s and burning so many heaters the sideline referee wanted to throw a flag.
Sources say there were even little kids playing on the field in the postgame celebration until they turned the lights off. That’s one win for now, and another for the future.
Toledo made sure football fans in Longview had something to watch last week when they hosted Forks at Memorial Stadium and put on a dress rehearsal for this week’s main attraction against Burbank. This week’s game will be played in Kelso though. I heard the Riverhawks like the ambiance at Laulainen Stadium.
And Clatskanie once again proved to be better than its doubters day with a tooth-and-nail victory at home over Colton. That game was played in fog cloud in a mud puddle, and the Tigers’ running game did what it needed to win. The Clatskanie defense cleaned up the rest of the mess.
In the final home games for so many seniors, who knows how many coaches, those are priceless endings. Which reminds me, the last four 11-man teams from the area to start the season all went on to win a State title. That would be Kalama (2021), Onalaska (2019), Rainier (2018), and Kalama again (2017).
Sure, Clatskanie is playing 9-man and Wahkiakum is playing 8-man (the Mules had a bye last week), but still. No pressure.
Speaking of priceless endings… what’s the deal with pennies? They can’t get no respect. Apparently pennies are the new enemy. But I’m old enough to remember when they were good luck, and even a poor kid with nothing but a keen eye on the walk to the corner store could work up some purchasing power.
Those were the days.
And speaking of pennies, BZM has deputized me to tell you that we’re offering up a 2026 mint penny for your thoughts as we head into the postseason. So get behind your keyboard quick and send us your best questions, observations, and consternations by email to: blastzonenews@gmail.com
You may have noticed that I haven’t been too grumpy yet. That’s because the boss at headquarters has told me in no uncertain terms that we’re not officially cleared to talk about the thing that I’m grumpy about. I guess we’re going to wait a few more days for that call back we were promised, so we’re definitely not going to talk about redacted resigning from redacted to take up a career in custom t-shirt sales.
Nope. We’re not going to talk about that.
Besides that, Naselle and Onalaska fans are bored by now. So, let’s get on with this weeks prognosticating.
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